I got in so late last night I didn't have chance to blog. It was my birthday yesterday and I did really well. I wanted to have a "treat" but I went out with friends instead, which I'm very glad I did as I know I would of sat at home and probably ordered pizza and sulked all. I didn't really know the people I went out on a personal level I just work with them but they are fun and it was a laugh and I suppose that's all that matters. They mentioned getting take away on the way home and I could of just murdered it as I hadn't had my pack and I was starting to feel hungry but it got bypassed and I added another day to my tally.
I had to go to the supermarket today and thoughts of "oooo I'll just buy this, it won't hurt, a bag of crisps, or a biscuit", I even thought about getting some chicken as it's allowed on the SS+ but I didn't give in. Which made me feel all bubbley about inside, I'm a lot stronger this time round and it's easier to ignore that voice in my head.
I'm struggling with water, I know I need to step it up but I got out of the habit of drinking four litres and now it seems so bloody difficult to get it down me.
Going for my second weigh-in tomorrow, hoping my blip at weekend won't cost me dearly, then it's two weeks before I'll get weighed again, I need to buy myself some scales so I can keep a rough guide of how much I'm loosing.
There are many temptations placed in my path this time and just when I'm ready to give in and say "fu*k it, I want to go out and drink and dance or have that meal out" but something stops me, even after I've made the decision that I am going to throw it all into the wind. There is still a big part of me that doubts I can be thin, I just cannot see it in my mind, I've always been big and never known any different, I just hope these doubts don't darken my resolve to go all the way this time.
Well fingers crossed for tomorrow.
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