Day 7 (yay)

Oooohhh I've completed my first week, I feel so accomplished! As there is no use in lying to myself I cheated a little today, a few crumbs of nachos may of fallen in to my mouth at work, nothing to rock the boat but it's still a cheat. Although admittedly could of been far worse and I could of had a handful but I didn't so I'm moving on.

I'm experiencing terrible mood swings, not sure if it's down to the diet or the fact that life just keeps piling it on. I don't have much, I may have lots of fancy possessions but things of subtance . . . I have me and I don't think much of me, I have no family and no significant other and when it comes down to it I have one friend so really all I have in life are my dogs and I love them dearly. Phoenix is my first dog, I got him my a local rescue 6 years ago and we have been through so much together. Couple year back he had to have a kidney removed and it was a very risky operation but he made it through and now I have found a growth on his neck. He has a lot of fur round his neck so I am lucky to spot it but I've no idea how long it has been there. I worry for my little man and cannot begin to imagine anything happening to him. He is only 7. I just know that this isn't a fatty lump it is a growth, it could be benign and I hope beyond all hope that it is, but there is a nasty feeling swimming in my gut. We go to the vets on Friday.

I feeling a bit down about my birthday, which is on Monday, this will be my first birthday where I'll have no one to celebrate with. It's only a birthday I know but I recall someone ( a parent) saying it's about celebrating the birth of the person I love. Considering every conversation I've had with my Mother resulted in her saying how I ruined her life and I'm her biggest regret I doubt she wants to celebrate my birth!!! She's not here anyway and I wouldn't want to spend it with her. It's just strange knowing I'll be on my own, well actually I'll be in work! I've been invited out by the people at work and I just want to go out and get blotto'd but I know it's just because I'm feeling down and I really really want to do the diet this time, it's actually important to me and I'm taking it very seriously. I guess I'm feeling torn but I know I can go out and have a good time without the booze and I'll be spared the hangover.

I'm going to stick to the diet, I'm not having "a weekend off" as it's just a waste of money and you can't drink in ketosis anyway so I'm staying strong and I'll fork out for bottled water!

It's one week down and only 11 more to go!