I'm back

So I've had a three week-ish break, my sister came over and the diet went out the window, however I didn't gain anything and I've been back in the cambridge since Thursday and so far so good, well not entirely I've had the odd nibble of things but nothing to disasterous, just got to keep going I want to be under the 12 stone mark for July. I just have to resist going out and stay away from food, no more social outings. I'm going to do my house up to stop me going out I can only afford to do one or the other, I've ripped my house apart and I know I cannot stand to live in a house that isn't decorated so I know I'll stay in to get it done. I jsut have to stop nibbling nachos at work, if I can get back in to ketosis I won't be hungry, right now I feel like I'm starving so definately not in ketosis yet. I only have two stone to go, I'm worried that now I've fell I'll keep falling :(

Day 18

Back on track today although slipping with the water in-take as usual, really need to try much much harder with it. I only got two litres down me today, just not good enough.

Day 17

I chuffed it all up last night and went out on the piss, I bought a baguette to knock me out of ketosis and drank a rather large amount of alcohol, I had a great night though. Back on the diet today though and will be avoiding work nights out for the next few weeks!!!

Day Fourteen ~ Weigh-in

Lost 5lbs this week, I am delighted. That's 12lb in two weeks, can't complain about that one bit. Now I've got a two week wait until the next weigh in!!!!

Think I'll go out and purchase me some scales and swing by Ikea and buy something nice as a treat.

Day Thirteen . . . .but what happened to Day 12?

I got in so late last night I didn't have chance to blog. It was my birthday yesterday and I did really well. I wanted to have a "treat" but I went out with friends instead, which I'm very glad I did as I know I would of sat at home and probably ordered pizza and sulked all. I didn't really know the people I went out on a personal level I just work with them but they are fun and it was a laugh and I suppose that's all that matters. They mentioned getting take away on the way home and I could of just murdered it as I hadn't had my pack and I was starting to feel hungry but it got bypassed and I added another day to my tally.

I had to go to the supermarket today and thoughts of "oooo I'll just buy this, it won't hurt, a bag of crisps, or a biscuit", I even thought about getting some chicken as it's allowed on the SS+ but I didn't give in. Which made me feel all bubbley about inside, I'm a lot stronger this time round and it's easier to ignore that voice in my head.

I'm struggling with water, I know I need to step it up but I got out of the habit of drinking four litres and now it seems so bloody difficult to get it down me.

Going for my second weigh-in tomorrow, hoping my blip at weekend won't cost me dearly, then it's two weeks before I'll get weighed again, I need to buy myself some scales so I can keep a rough guide of how much I'm loosing.

There are many temptations placed in my path this time and just when I'm ready to give in and say "fu*k it, I want to go out and drink and dance or have that meal out" but something stops me, even after I've made the decision that I am going to throw it all into the wind. There is still a big part of me that doubts I can be thin, I just cannot see it in my mind, I've always been big and never known any different, I just hope these doubts don't darken my resolve to go all the way this time.

Well fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Day Eleven

I'm feeling quite positive today, although I'm hungry but behind on the water again, I'm also really really tired, that may be to do with lack of water. I've still got another pack to go but don't really feel like it just now. I had a savoury drink and it's made me feel a bit sick and bloated.

Back to work tomorrow which I'm dreading, I just know it's going to be heaving with people and I'll be rushed off me feet. I must also phone my CDC to arrange the next meeting, I meant to do it today but it's completely slipped me mind.

Well back to glugging that H2O.

Day Ten

Today has gone better, although I've struggleded with the water, I've only has a litre today which isn't good, I need to get a least another two down before bed. I've been shopping and decorating and time completely got a way from me.

I need to decorate the whole house but as I'm only working a crappy minimum wage job, its being done it bits and bats the kicthen and bathroom are currently being done, it all needs new flooring but can't do that till its all been wallpapered, certainly keeping me occupied and my mind off food for sure.

Am going to a friends house this evening, it would of been nice to of been able to of gone out for a meal and a drink but I'd rather lose weight. That has been my mantra for the day. Usually when out shopping in town I buy a pasty or sausage roll and I was walking into the bakers but something switched on in my head and I said "no I'd be thin" and carried on walking. I felt very proud, I could of been sat here feeling heartbroken about cheating so I'm very glad of the choice I made.

It's not easy cutting food out of your life, I have a battle with myself several times a day over it, I miss the variety of flavours in your mouth, I drink my shakes and packs with gusto because I love the taste of something other than water.

Well babbling again, only four more days to go till my weigh-in, I'm excited and positive about it despite my blip last night.